I shared the story of me and Mr. CC {here}. It you haven't read it, you should. ; ) Brief recap, when we met is was horrible timing, we were both in failing marriages. I ended up moving from Las Vegas to Canada after knowing him for only 3 1/2 months. We've been together for 12 years now.
So you're probably thinking, if I was the ex I'd hate me. I know I would! In some sense I was kind of the other woman. Now whether or not Miss J hated me at the beginning I don't know. I do know she didn't blame me for their marriage ending. She's told me a couple times over the past years. You can bet that was a HUGE relief to hear!! (Thank you for that J!!) She did however have nothing to do with me. Over the first few years she wouldn't really speak to me. At first it wasn't at all. Eventually she'd talk to me only about things that concerned Miss E. It was never very friendly or personal. That's how our relationship was for the first 5 years or so.
You can imagine that when we found out I was pregnant I was kind of dreading telling her. We didn't know how she'd react. She hadn't wanted Miss E to be an only child, but she was in a relationship with an man who already had two daughter's that were older than Miss E. He didn't want to have more kids. So this is why I was nervous to tell her. Would she be angry or jealous that it was me making Miss E a big sister and not her? Was she going to stop talking to me? These are some of the thoughts that went through my head. I was only six weeks pregnant when we told her. And to my surprise she started talking to me more then ever. She'd actually talk to me about things other than Miss E.
After Miss A was born our relationship blossomed more and more. We would go to the mall together or over to her house to hang out. And in 2010 we went on a Spring Break trip together. Just me, her and the girls. 10 days together, and it was nice! We made a great team. I love to cook, so I'd do the cooking. She doesn't like cooking all that much, so she'd do the clean up. We joked how two moms in a house would be pretty cool. Sharing a guy, not soo much. haha ; )
I still don't know why having Miss A changed soo much between us. Honestly, I've never asked. My only guess is, having Miss E's sister meant I would be a permanent person in her life. (Is that close J?) Whatever the reason, I'm soo happy with how things are now. We are friends. We get together for Sunday dinner a couple times a month at her place. We occasionally to go a movie together and she's in my Dinner Club. This summer we're planning on doing some camping in her RV with the girls. I've also sort of been a moderator between her and Mr. CC. I think I've made their relationship easier. We don't really all hang out, but communication is good. And the best part, Miss E knows we're all on the same page and all here for her.
I wanted to share our story to give encouragement to those of you out there going through something similar. Maybe you're the ex or maybe you're the new woman. Whatever the case is, there is hope. Things can get better over time. I doubt Miss J knows how I felt all those years she wouldn't talk to me. It's hard being the new woman too. You don't really know where you fit into the child's life. You're not a biological parent, but you're expected to treat them like your own. That was something I really loved, being a part of Miss E's life. I always treated her like my own and loved her from day one. It seems you always run the risk of overstepping some imaginary line though. It's a hard balance of parenting but not over parenting. Does that even make sense? If it's this hard for me to explain, imagine how hard it is to live. Being a step-parent is a tough job, but it's one I love! It's been an honor to watch Miss E grow from a toddler to a teenager. She has become an incredible young lady. I'm looking forward to watching her grow into an amazing woman.
So with that we come to the end of this post. A huge thank you to Miss J for allowing me into your life! You mean more to me than you'll ever know. Thank you for sharing your precious daughter with me. I think we've done a fantastic job raising her, Happy Mother's Day!!
Whether you're a bio-mom, stepmom, grandma, aunt or
an extra special someone to a child -
Happy Mother's Day!!
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